Inosuke Goes to School
by Hitobashira Alice
Summary: Tanjiro. Nezuko. Inosuke. And Zentatsu. The four friends traveled far and wide and fought stuff, I guess, but Inosuke's lack of mental acuity has become more trouble than it's worth. It's time to get the pigheaded brute schooled! (A blindfic - I haven't read or watched the series and I go on what my friends shared on Facebook. A two-part fic.)
1. Chapter 1: Going to School

The season was starting to change.

Fall approached with chiller winds as its herald and brown, yellow, and red leaves as its tiny banners setting the treetops ablaze; gone were the blistering days of Summer.

Tanjiro silently thanked the gods. Sweat did not make his journey any easier. If anything, it made Nezuko more fidgety. Though Winter would soon come and it would mean its own set pof problems, but he knew there was no use of worrying too far ahead.

The four friends were on a trek to a small town beyond the twin hills - from the merchants' tales, it had been a trading village that outgrew itself and well on its way to becoming a bustling city.

But they were not in search of entertainment, or even provisions.

They came for education.

Tanjiro sized up the enigmatic young man walking a few paces in front of him and Nezuko. Inosuke had well-trained muscles, a testament to his hard-earned survival in the woods amidst the treacherous terrain and lurking predators.

But his head was obscured by the decapitated head of a boar. After sweltering under the summer sun, the flesh had become rancid. Leathery exodermis and rough bristles of the dead pig had fallen off in patches, exposing grey, sickly skin. Maggots crawl in and out of the flabs, the clumsier ones sometimes falling off to the ground.

Even from tens of meters, the stench was overpowering. But he'd somehow got used to it regardless (even if Nezuko had to get vomit breaks every so often). There was little he couldn't stomach after watching his sister's body being taken over by a demon.

And he'd been useful and loyal. He was stronger than Tanjiro and the cowardly yellow swordsman that tagged along - whose name Tanjiro had forgotten, but he could not bring himself to ask again.

The way he fought was primal, an untamed beast that wrestled and bit, scratched and clawed; chivalry and fairness held no value for the wild man.

But it was getting harder to communicate with him. Inozuka seemed unperturbed by the decaying swine head, although the misshapen meat now blocked his mouth and made trying to discern even his simplistic grunts exceptionally difficult.

Moreover, he'd always been very dumb.

It should come as no surprise, since he grew up among boars and deers. But the fact that he knew some human words had instilled a false hope in Tanjiro. The guy reacted well enough to the simplest instructions like 'attack', 'run', or 'play dead', but having an intellectual discussion was out of question.

The town they were traveling to - Todaigakure - was known for its public school. It had the reputation of accepting anyone who wanted to learn, even if they were poor, mentally challenged, or (Tanjiro gulped) a gaijin.

Maybe they'd accept someone with a rotting clump of flesh around their head too.

After two or three hours of more traversing the winding paths, they finally arrived at the town guards were posted there, examining Tanjiro's approaching party with a look of disgust.

"Halt! Who goes there?" barked the older one of the two, a tall man with shallow scars on his face.

"Ghhhrheeahhh grrarrr!" grunted Inosuke, waving friendly with both his arms high to the sky (although perhaps much too vigorously).

"A demon!" yelped the second one. The two guards drew their swords swiftly in a practiced synchronicity.

"Inosuke! Back down, boy!"

Tanjiro ran past Inosuke, braving the foul odor. He could hear Nezuko's muffled protest right behind him.

"Please, we mean no harm. We are here to seek help."

The guards exchanged a look. Thankfully, they lowered their blades.

"Are you with the _yokai_?" asked the older guard.

"No. I mean, he's not a _yokai_. He's just wearing a...mask." Tanjiro could feel his words faltering.

"A mask? You mean the rotten pig head?"

"Yes, well…" Tanjiro had to hold back a sigh, "it's because he's very stupid, but he's not dangerous. He listens to me."

The two guards still looked full of doubt, but Tanjiro noticed their grips relaxed almost imperceptibly.

"Prove it," said the older guard.

"O-Okay. Inosuke, roll."

"Orgggraahgrooh." Inosuke dropped to the ground without hesitation, flinging maggots everywhere, and started rolling on his side.

"Inosuke, hand."

With one swift movement, Inosuke jumped into a crouch and placed his hand on Tanjiro's. The smell of rotting flesh was unbearable.

Almost defiantly, Tanjiro looked at the agape guards. He was holding his breath.

"I...see. As long as you keep him under control. And do something with that smell, for god's sake!"

With hurried steps, the guards made way for Tanjiro, Nezuko, Inosuke, and Kanzeite the yellow-haired boy. After a short rest to wrap spare clothes around Inosuke's mask in the hope of holding back the smell, the foursome walked in. Tanjiro could already tell the clothes didn't help at all.

As the sun was already on its decline towards the horizon, enrolling Inosuke's dull mind had to wait until the next day. After some more haggling, swearing, and vomiting, they found an inn that would rent them a room - one in a separate housing far away from the main building. And the proprietor made Tanjiro promise to deodorize the room before checking out.

The morning was crisp, with a slight chill to the breeze and a clear blue sky. The people of Todaigakure started their day early, with vegetable merchants loudly peddling their finest produce to the scrutinizing eyes of local housewives and chefs.

Tanjiro had arranged for Zeniba to watch over Inosuke at their accommodation to make things simpler. From their experience the day before, Inosuke did not quite make for a charming first impression. It might be better if Tanjiro could prepare the school for what was to come their way.

And it had been a while since he could have quality time with his sister. Nezuko seemed happier away from the malodorous brute and hummed happily while looking at the town's morning routine.

The campus of Tomodachi Daigaku, or Todai, was a sprawling complex of paved paths, lanterns, and beautifully made buildings. Sleepy students were already on their way to morning classes while rubbing the sleep out of their eyes.

Although he had braced himself, Tanjiro was still awed by the faculty building. Standing three-story tall and made of polished Japanese maple wood, the building was both elegant and imposing, like facing a stern court official.

The enrollment desk was tended by a matronly-looking woman, her hair knotted in a top bun. She gave a hearty smile as she welcomed Tanjiro.

"Good morning, I want to enroll a friend."

"Oh, of course. Is it for the precious girl on your back?" The woman waved her stubby hand at Nezuko, who happily waved back.

"No, actually. He's not here. I mean, he's waiting at the inn. But he's got a bit of a special condition…"

"Oh, poor dear. Don't worry, here at Todai we offer education for everyone. Is he lame, deaf, or blind?"

"Well…"

Somehow a truly illogical fear reared its ugly head; maybe the lady would kick them out and declare Inosuke a lost cause and they would have to leave the town. But they'd come this far.

"He is extraordinarily dumb. And he smells like dog poop."

If the lady was surprised, she didn't show it. She just smiled and nodded slightly, encouraging Tanjiro to go on.

"Like, his head smells like wet dog poop that's been fermenting under the sun for hours. Oh and maggots sometimes crawl out of it. It's all very...gross."

Even without looking back, Tanjiro could feel Nezuko shivering in her basket, much like Tanjiro himself except that he wasn't in a basket but standing on his legs because it was the trendy thing to do at the time.

Contrary to Tanjiro's passing doubt, the lady's eyes glinted. She stood up with a speed belying her size and shook Tanjiro's hand vigorously. Nezuko protested as the motion shook her box. The tremor subsided and Tanjiro was left disoriented and dizzy.

"We would be more than happy to accept your friend. Where can he start? The sooner the better."

Despite her reassuring words and wide toothy smile, there was another weird feeling cropping up within a part of Tanjiro's heart he himself didn't know existed. It was unease.


	2. Chapter 2: Back from School

(AN: This is the second and final part of this fic. It's been fun, but I plan to start reading Demon's Slayer now, so I won't be able to continue writing this blind fic. Still, I hope you enjoy it for what it is. And I look forward to laughing at how wrong I am at these characterizations I got from mere Facebook posts and memes.)

It had only been three days and Tanjiro had offered more apologies than he'd ever had in the last 17 years of his life. Of course, even his sincerest _dogeza _couldn't do much to console the mothers who lost their child to Inosuke's bottomless hunger. But such was the price of good education.

He, along with Nezuko, Zenichiro, and Inosuke, currently lived in the separate building at the local inn. For their living expenses, Tanjiro took on odd jobs around town, often involving slaying demons that came to ransack the villagers' field.

This evening, he would make tea for four, a new routine he started in order to get a semblance of normality going.

The sky was already awash in a brilliant symphony of oranges and red when Inosuke returned from school, the bone underneath his mask now popping out in several places.

"Grrohhgh raaarghh!" chattered Inosuke happily, a gas most foul emanating with every sound.

"Oh, did you have fun today? That's great!" said Tanjiro, handing out a cup of hot tea to the man-bear-pig. It was gone in a blink, the cup and its boiling content disappearing into the void of Inosuke's mouth.

"Mmmph, mmph," gruntled Nezuko while nodding.

"And you didn't even eat any classmates today! Great job!"

"GGgrggghgggrooaaargh!"

Inosuke happily helped himself to the dango they were having for snack. Despite the terror of living with an abomination, a weight was lifted from Tanjiro's shoulders; perhaps this arrangement would work and Inosuke would eventually understand the human language and, sometime after, human norms as well.

Then he would finally be able to convince him to take off that gangrenous decapitated boar head.

Tanjiro was reaching for his second skewer of dango when he heard the sound of the front door being slid open.

He wasn't expecting a guest.

"Be quiet," said Tanjiro in a hushed voice, grabbing his katana that was never out of his reach.

He stood up, his senses heightened to the point he could feel the footsteps approaching them from the porch. They did not bother to hide their presence, indicating either a true foolishness or a steel confidence.

"Who's there?" said Tanjiro while sliding the door open.

"Pardon the intrusion," a male voice replied.

Before him were three people wearing the same black uniform. From their well-formed posture, Tanjiro could tell that they were trained warriors.

The one who greeted him was the man on the front, seemingly their leader. He was at least a head taller than Tanjiro, sporting long yellow hair with streaks of red. His eyes, looking at Tanjiro with mild disinterest, had a stern look to them.

"My name is Ginyuu, a pillar under the Shinsengumi," the man introduced himself, giving a little nod.

"And these are my colleagues, Shinobu and...I don't remember her name, but I'm sure it's a good one."

The girl he called Shinobu had deep blue hair and eyes like a moonless sky; she was wearing a pink coat over her uniform, adorned with the pattern of a butterfly's wings. And the other one, whose name Ginyuu couldn't remember at the moment, had her green hair tied in twin braids which softly faded into a soft pink. She was particularly endowed with a womanly charm.

The Shinsengumi. They were an elite group under the Shogun's order, deployed only for matters of such great importance that would be beyond the capability of lesser samurai and officers. Their tales were renowned throughout the country, from the mountains of Hokkaido to the island of Ryukyu; his own parents used them to scare Tanjiro and Nezuko into behaving whenever they were being too rowdy.

"It is an honor to meet you, Sir," said Tanjiro while giving a slight bow, though he kept his eyes peeled to any movement the trio might make. "What might the Shinsengumi have to do with us?"

"Don't worry, you are not in trouble yet," replied Ginyuu, with the slightest hint of warning on his last word.

"Please, allow me to speak. We are here because we got complaints from several parents who sent their children to school at Todai," continued Shinobu, the corner of her lips turned in a vague smile.

"Parent?"

"Indeed. There are reports that a demonic boar has been eating the schoolchildren alive the last couple days. It is truly disturbing news."

His heart fell, as if it turned into lead. He'd thought he'd taken care of that, but apparently the men and women who lost their young offspring filed a complaint behind his back.

"Demonic...boar…?"

"Yes. We asked around and found several leads that led us to here, your current lodging. And, of course, Inosuke's as well," continued Shinobu, still with the same faint smile. Her speech, perfectly delivered and enunciated as if it had been rehearsed, made Tanjiro's blood boil.

"I don't know what they told you, but those are lies. The children were already dead before Inosuke feasted on their dead juvenile flesh," hissed Tanjiro between his gritted teeth.

"That does not matter now," said Ginyuu, taking another step towards Tanjiro. "Regardless of what happened, the people are uneasy with _his _existence. Thus we are here to ask you to pull Inosuke from school."

"And if I say no?"

"That would be most unfortunate. We're on strict instruction to put an end to this...situation..._at all costs_." The blond made a show of gently caressing the handle of the katana perched on his side.

"Then I ask you to leave!"

With one precise movement, Tanjiro unsheathed his katana and swung it towards Ginyuu. To normal humans, this attack would have drawn blood.

But the taller man was ready; he bent his body backwards just so the edge of Tanjiro's katana lightly touched the front of his uniform, like a branch against the wind.

"We will, just as soon as we take care of you."

Ginyuu drew his own katana, its blade glimmering red with more than a hundred folds; a legendary sword said to have been forged by the gods themselves.

He moved into Tanjiro's unprotected left side, his steps so fast they were imperceptible; the swing of his blade struck Tanjiro's own sword, a move only made possible by an instinct to stay alive.

As the two men exchanged strikes and slashes, Shinobu and Braid Lady circled around them, entering the room proper.

During the confrontation, Zenitsu had been napping after the afternoon snack. Yet, overcome by a sense of imminent danger, his own body moved on its town. So great was the potential charge inside his sword that lightning strikes shot from it, one of them barely missing Shinobu and hit the tatami, starting a small fire.

Shinobu smiled once more. This time, it reached her eyes. She drew her sword, a thin and almost translucent katana. Another of Zenitsu's bolt struck her blade; it flashed for the better half of a second before fading, leaving its owner unscatched.

On the western front, Braid Lady was making her way towards Nezuko and the ever-confused Inosuke. She spoke for the first time, a soft and warm voice that would have been comforting in another circumstance.

"Now, be a good little girl and hand over Mr. Piggy, okay?"

Though she was still biting on a bamboo cylinder, Nezuko shook her head as she stepped in front of Inosuke, trying as much as she could to hide him behind her much smaller body.

"I've nothing to do with you."

Braid Lady did not falter as she made her way towards Inosuke, easily pushing Nezuko to the side.

The girl, splayed on the tatami rug, shot a look of intense hatred.

Then, a voice called from inside.

'Do you need power?'

'No!' Nezuko thought, 'I won't listen to you!'

'Your brother is fighting for his life. It's their life of yours. If you failed to save them, they will curse you forever in the next life.'

Nezuko felt her temperature rise. Along with it, a bestial rage came over her, overtaking her senses, her restraints, even her own instincts to fight back.

Her canine teeth extruded, becoming fangs not dissimilar to those of a wolf's. Her nails doubled in length, ending on edges sharp enough to pierce through flesh and bones.

Braid Lady turned around, sensing bloodthirst that hadn't been there a second ago, and was met with a swift slash on the throat. The tatami she stood on quickly grew red, darker and darker as her blood seeped into it.

Behind Nezuko, still away from the ensuing chaos, Inosuke cheerfully bit into another piece of dango.

On the entryway, Tanjiro was pushed back by the flurry of Ginyuu's attacks. His full focus and graceful swordsmanship managed to block Ginyuu's blade with his own, but just barely; a slash nicked his knuckle, another grazed his forearm, and soon enough, he was covered in tiny, stinging wounds.

"Mmmph mmph!"

With the force of a great typhoon, Nezuko lunged at Ginyuu, her demonic claws extended. There was no hesitation from Ginyuu as he moved his katana in a sweeping arc, away from Tanjiro and aimed at Nezuko's neck.

"No!"

The next moment played in slow motion to Tanjiro's eyes. The blade of Ginyuu's red katana slashed through the air. Unimpeded, the bloodthirsty weapon would have struck Nezuko, who was dashing straight at him, her sense of reason completely taken over by the demon inside.

Tanjiro could feel every muscle in his hand, he could feel the jolt of his nerves animating his foot, his shoulders, his elbow, his wrist in an unprecedented display of unison. First, he planted his foot on the tatami, solid. His arm folded inward, a prelude to his next, final attack.

His right arm was one with his katana, a continuous extension of his will.

Then, he let the blade glide in the air, swift as the coursing river, feeling his fingers let go of the cloth-bound handle. The flying steel touched Ginyuu's arm lightly before pushing into it, cutting through cloth and skin. Ginyuu didn't have time to react before his hand and a half of his lower arm dropped to the ground, along with the katana still in its grasp.

The katana's new, weightless trajectory missed Nezuko completely. In the next moment, just as Ginyuu's eyes moved downwards to take a confused look on his recently divorced hand, she body-slammed the Shinsengumi captain to the ground and began shredding away at his face with the strength of a raging fire.

The only enemy left was Shinobu, mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

In a tremendous nail-biter of a fight, Shinobu had slain Zenitsu. Their duel was one for the ages, every move as sophisticated as they were powerful, and they all happened when nobody else was looking. Truly an indescribable moment in history.

Nevertheless, Shinobu wiped her blade, bathed in Zenitsu's fresh blood, with her sleeve. Gone was her indifferent expression. The battle had also taken its toll on her. A deep cut tore her below the chest, blood seeping profusely through her outfit.

"Please give up, Shinobu. You are in no shape to fight."

Tanjiro's plea was both sincere and practical. _None of them _was in any shape to fight. Well, except for Inosuke, but he was already dozing off since it was nearing his bed time.

Shinobu sized up the state of the room. Her braided comrade lied lifelessly, her hands wrapped around her neck in a futile attempt to close the gap. Nezuko was still furiously slashing at Ginyuu's body, who had stopped moving. Below her was Zenitsu, his skin already taking on an ashen color from the blood loss. Although he'd put up an admirable front, Tanjiro was reeling in from his wounds, his footing shaky.

And she was beginning to feel her body temperature dropping at an alarming pace.

"...I understand. I will take my leave. But before…"

Shinobu used her last strength to close the distance between her and Tanjiro in one leap. Her lips pushed onto Tanjiro's; she could smell blood and sweat, not her own.

The man was so taken aback that he began blabbing gibberish that made Nezuko look up from her desecration. His face began to take on a reddish blush that matched his scar.

"Abababa-why-what?"

"Nothing. I've a feeling that there are a lot of people who would like us to end up together," said Shinobu as the warmth on her lips spreading to her body, fending off the approaching cold.

She pushed on her wound as she made her way slowly out of the room. And just before she went down the corridor, hidden from the survivors' sight, she looked at Tanjiro one more time. He was still standing at the same spot.

"And remember, I will be back with more of my comrades. If I were you, I'd take that pigman and leave the town as soon as possible."

With her departure, Tanjiro gained his bearings back. He pensively wiped his lips with the back of his hand, trying not to think of her and how soft her lips were.

Then he looked to the right, at the source of slashing and scraping sounds.

"Nezuko!"

Tanjiro pulled out a replacement bamboo tube and shoved it into Nezuko's mouth sideways. Her ravenous slashing slowed down before stopping as her eyes closed. Tanjiro caught her fall. His sister was back.

"Zenitsu, help me clean-oh yeah…"

The blonde fourth wheel was gone.

Inosuke, however, looked up from his plate of dango, fully licked clean. He snorted. Another clump of skin and hair fell from his cheek.

"Oh Inosuke..." Tanjiro shook his head, wondering how his choices led to this bloody encounter.

"Study well so you can help me soon, okay?" asked Tanjiro, looking at Inosuke's blue, soupy, and maggot-infested pig eyes, trying to convey his hope by sheer force of will.

"Groargharaghh?" answered Inosuke, tilting to one side.

Still a long way ahead, Tanjiro thought as the sun went down the horizon and the distant stars began to faintly appear in the night sky.


End file.
